4 Simple Ways to Protect Your Peace With Healthy Boundaries

I get it – being liked by everyone is nice. Going to bed at night knowing you didn’t upset a single soul has its perks. But those perks are only surface level. And that never-ending cycle of people-pleasing? It’s exhausting as hell. As a woman, it’s how you’re conditioned to live. 

You’re bending over backwards to serve everyone in your life.

You’re praised for not honoring yourself and your needs.

You’re labeled “superwoman” when you handle more than is humanly possible.

And you’ve learned to keep a pleasant smile on your face while doing it all — wouldn’t wanna be accused of having resting bitch face, would you? 

Can you imagine if the same applied to men? 🙄

By obliging, we’re actively participating in this harmful dynamic. When we say “yes” when we really want to say “no,” we’re telling the universe it’s okay to treat us this way.

For most of my life, I bought into this backwards mindset. If they think I’m good enough, I’m good enough, right?! If I just keep doing, the universe will eventually deem me enough.

This way of thinking eroded my self-worth. It got so bad that I lost sight of my own basic needs.

I’m talking about feeding myself…

And drinking water…

Every single task became more important than my own life. My body deserves better than this, dangit! And so does yours. 

You are a precious gem.

I wish I could shout this off the rooftops to every woman on the planet! And you – only you – are responsible for protecting yourself and your peace.

How can setting boundaries help protect your peace?

If poor boundaries were modeled to you as a child, it can take a hot minute to understand what healthy boundaries actually mean. 

In a nutshell — boundaries are what separate you from everyone else. 

It’s not sustainable to allow everyone 24-hour access to you and your time. And if you’re a female entrepreneur like me, it is vitally important to start setting boundaries in your life. Without boundaries, resentment creeps in and wreaks havoc on your life. 

Here are four ways to start setting boundaries and stop living in chaos:

 1. Don’t overschedule.

Be realistic about how long it takes to complete a task. Be honest with yourself about how many commitments will actually fit into your day. 

Do you find yourself constantly running behind due to overcommitting to projects and events?⏱

I found myself stuck in this cycle of delusional optimism, and it only fueled my flawed beliefs of not being good enough. I felt shame for not being able to complete projects by my self-imposed deadlines. I also felt terrible for not fully showing up for the people in my life because I was always playing catch up.

I had to learn a hard lesson: “No” is a complete sentence.

As much as I wanted to agree to everything everyone was asking of me (and everything I was asking of myself), it was simply not possible. I thought I was strong for doing so much, but I came to realize that living a balanced life is actually what requires the most strength. 

Many people may feel entitled to your time, but here’s the thing: no one actually is. And no one is entitled to a lengthy over-explanation of why you can’t do that thing they want you to do. Your boundary is to protect you. 

Other people’s reactions to your boundary are not your responsibility. 🙅🏻‍♀️

2. Make (and keep) tiny promises to yourself.

Dr. Nicole LePera is an influential clinical psychologist and author of the bestselling book, How To Do The Work. When thinking about boundaries, I love Dr. LePera’s advice to start small.

Here’s one of my tiny promises to myself: drink water.

Here’s another one: eat breakfast.

Catch my drift? Starting small is essential. When I had no grasp on the concept of boundaries, everything and everyone else ruled my life. Completing tasks became more important to me than feeding myself a meal.

I never stopped. Not even to eat — or sleep.

Every time I “powered through” and worked a few extra hours on a project, I told my brain “this task matters more than I do.” My mental health suffered. But now — no matter what — I do not break these very basic promises I’ve made to myself.

And do you know what these magical little promises are doing?

They’re reprogramming my brain to take care of myself first. And they’re teaching me to take responsibility for my own well-being.

I know that prioritizing taking care of myself will empower me to conquer the rest of my day with much more clarity and focus. If an obligation challenges these promises, I now have the strength to say “nope!”

3. Honor your nervous system.

Is feeling overwhelmed your body’s natural state? 😵‍💫

Have you grown accustomed to your clenched jaw, racing thoughts, knotted stomach, and shallow breathing?

I’ve been there, and I know it’s not a peaceful place to be.

When you aren’t setting healthy boundaries, this state of overwhelm can become the norm. Get in tune with what feels right to you and what doesn’t. Start paying attention to your body—when it’s screaming at you to slow down, try listening to it.

Close the laptop. Put the phone away. Stop doing.

The world won’t break — I promise.

Don’t know how to slow your body down? Until very recently, I didn’t either! Try some deep breathing exercises throughout the day. If you need to, set reminders on your phone every hour to breathe deeply.

Meditations are another effective way to slow down and pay attention to your body and its needs. Next time you have a stressful meeting or call, try doing a meditation afterwards. You can find meditations all over the internet, but Julie Bjelland has some of my favorites.

4. Balance work and life.

This is a tough one for entrepreneurs. Especially female entrepreneurs because — well, we’re wired to get sh*t done.

And when you’re passionate about your job, it becomes way too easy to justify the long hours. 

So what does setting boundaries at work look like? 

Closing your laptop at 5:00? 

Taking a lunch break every day? 

Turning Slack notifications off during non-work hours? 

Delegating a task to someone else?

You are so much more than your work. If work is eating every minute of your day, there isn’t time to explore the rest of you. And in my book, that’s a tragedy.

How can delegating help you set boundaries at work?

I’m the queen of scrappiness, and I know there’s a sense of pride associated with doing it all yourself. But I’m here to tell you that scrappiness will only get your business so far. And the other aspects of your life will suffer if you let your scrappiness run the show.

Delegate when it makes sense to. Especially when you find yourself working around the clock. Protect your time.

And that’s where I come in! I’m on a mission to use my copywriting skills to amplify your brand while giving you back the most precious thing of all: your time. 

I’m a copywriter for women, and my girl power move is to empower women’s brands to take up the space they deserve. So, if you’re empowering women through your business, I want to empower you. 

Boundaries are all about establishing freedom. Don’t miss out on the power of copywriting — you’d be leaving a whole lotta freedom on the table. Hire a quality copywriter and start commanding freedom in your schedule.

Check out my website to learn more about my copywriting services.